Monday 8 August 2011

Look Full in his Wonderful Face

God loves me and He wants to meet with me in a very personal way. I have listened to people who were with me at New Wine this year talk to me about the way He met with them, the words he has spoken to them, even in one case the song He is singing over them. It would be so easy for me to expect Him to meet with me in the same ways that they have talked about, but I think that what He is saying to me is that I need to wait for Him to choose to meet with me in a way that is very personal to me and my life situation. It may be a song, it may be a vision, it may be a dream or a voice in my head, or it may be something completely different. Whatever way God chooses to meet with me I need to wait in expectation. If I do not expect Him to want to meet with me then it simply won't happen. I do know that when it happens nothing will ever be the same again. Normal things in life will cease to matter: "things on earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His Wonder and Grace."

Last night I went to bed praying that God would give me a sign that I was going in the right direction. I even challenged Him, that I wanted the sign the very next morning. At 9:00 this morning my mum phoned to say to me that she had a verse from the Bible for me...she does not do this very often... and that I was to read Romans 15: 13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I do trust in him. And I feel that joy and peace bubbling up inside me as I write this!



Tuesday 18 January 2011

Six things I heard today


The scrape of the de-icer as it attacked the ice on the car windscreen
The sadness and desperation in the voice of a lovely friend
The ack ack ack of the ambucopter as it landed at the hospital
The excitement in my son's voice when he returned from school to tell me that he had enjoyed swimming rather than hated it as he had thought he would
The thudding of my trainers as they landed on the pavement, one after the other, to the rhythm of my run.
The tick tick of the metronome, and the confident piano notes drifting from the study, a clue that Hattie has not given up entirely on the pleasures and joys of her pre-illness life.

Monday 17 January 2011

Six things I have seen today



Tired women scanning products at the checkout, looking as though they would much rather be elsewhere
Fog drifting across the roads, obscuring trees and houses
Tired teenage daughter with puffy eyes and a headache
Dog gazing up at me adoringly with an unfathomable question in her eye - What is she asking of me?
Six round tomatoes, firm red flesh, nestling in a plastic tray
The muscle in my husband’s jaw as he chews his tea.

Wednesday 12 January 2011

A bit of a day!

How many waiting rooms can one person clock up in one day?
My total for today is four.
I drove to Crowland this morning to teach as usual and left at 12, heading for Grantham hospital. Mum was due to meet me there with Hattie, who had her first appointment with the Chronic fatigue syndrome services. Grantham hospital has several entrances and seemingly endless car parks! I parked eventually in car park 1b. I remember, because I committed it carefully to memory ready for later when I knew I would be needing to ask the question “where’s the car?”
We found each other, and then the first waiting room of the day presented itself to me... For some reason my 13 year old daughter had to wait in a “surgical appliances for older adults” waiting room! We were called through by a purple lady...yes, her hair had been dyed to match her woollen dress and tights. She proved to be more competent than she looked and it was a successful appointment all in all. It did however last for over an hour, meaning that my planned drive to Boston’s pilgrim hospital for my own appointment was more of a Formula 1 event.
My second waiting room of the day was at the Pilgrim outpatients department, not long here before I was called. “Wow” thought to myself, “that was quick!”
Sadly I was a bit pre-emptive in my thoughts as I was led by a sullen, sensible-shoed nurse, down several corridors to another waiting room (no 3). This one I was in for a little bit longer. Long enough indeed to browse “Arthritis today” and indeed to have a quick flick through “Your Colonoscopy”!
At last another nurse called me through to a small room, “I’ll just be taking your blood pressure and doing a weight and height check.” She informed me. After which I was led through to waiting room number 4. No magazines here. Just bare yellow walls and two or three of the ubiquitous staring old people. (You know the sort? Their gaze rests on one spot and does not move. Unwavering, it is, and this particular old fellow’s eyes were unwaveringly resting on my breasts.)
Finally I was seen. Four waiting rooms later!

Sunday 2 January 2011

God's Promises Part 1

John 16:33
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I see this Promise in two parts
• In this world you will have trouble
God does not promise those who love Him an easy life. On the contrary, in this verse, he actually promises us that life will not be easy. Trouble will follow us in this life. Look at the early Christians, were they not put in chains, persecuted and even killed for their faith? Perhaps then we should rejoice in our hardships?
“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. John 15: 18-19
• And the second part of the promise : But take heart! I have overcome the world.
So, having promised us hardship, God tells us to take heart! He has already overcome the world through his gift of Jesus Christ, and we are free! So whilst we may suffer hardship on this earth, ultimately we have no need to be afraid.

Perhaps the new year is a good time for us to look at this promise and see how we will claim it in our lives.

When faced with hardships in life, we can either allow them to knock us over and crush us or ride them and when we come out the other side, put them behind us.